August 30, 2008

Today I went to New Jersey for a theater audition. It went well though I realized I could use a new monologue. I’ve used it for a very very long time. It’s like Marge Simpson when she buys the expensive Chanel suit and keeps re-purposing it over and over until she has nothing left but a Chanel bikini. I’ll work on one that my acting coach had suggested.

On the way back to New York I rode back with two other actors who also took NJ Transit. What could have been long, awkward ride turned into a really delightful time. We chatted about television shows, movies, plays and musicals (Note to self: must see Strange Passage) and acting. These guys work pretty consistently, have good heads on their shoulders and just nice good folks. If I have the opportunity to give people work, I’d definitely call them in.

Tomorrow I set up an appointment to do my first edit of my short comedy, SUPER psyched about that. Can’t believe it’s happening because the editing was the thing that was an obstacle.

On a personal note, I hadn’t realized that my friend lives so close to my neighborhood. We had dinner this past weekend and tonight we are going to walk her ultra smart and adorable dog. I don’t live near many of my friends (in Manhattan) so I tend to feel a bit isolated.

Next week, I’ll start working part-time at a music store which sells high end guitars and gives music lessons. I’m excited about that because it will introduce some sort of regularity and I have a feeling the people will be nice.

Auditions Do’s and Don’ts

These are tips I’ve learned from either being an actress or being on the other side of the table. They’re also a reminder for myself.

Don’t:
-Don’t stop midway through an audition and talk about how you can not possibly play a character.
-Don’t talk about how your friend is in jail for murder.
-NEVER apologize, OWN it! One audition isn’t going to make or break your career.

Do:
-Be confident, friendly, be healthy and at ease with yourself. (<–<I feel this is the MOST important one.)
-Look the best you can.
-Be positive. Don’t talk about how the weather is giving you an allergy, how you have to get your energy up or how you hate the script. If you’re from LA, please don’t diss New York and say how grey it is.
-Keep small talk to a minimum unless it’s about another fabulous project you’re in.
-Have the scene solid.

I recently had the privilige of being a reader for pilot season auditions and there were three recognizable faces who were were all top notch. Two read from the script, and barely knew the lines. But they both pulled if off because they were confident and were joyful with their read. The third recognizable talent was spot on without the script. All three were like lightening bolts that flashed through the thick fright and weak choices of other actors. They were also very nice people.

April 16, 2008

Today I have an audition and a reading of a play with a director I really dig. Later I have a dinner with another director I may work with.

Oh crap, I also remember I have to send my producer storyboards for our title intro of our short. During the first trimester I let things slide because I felt like crap all of the time. Now that I’m back in commission, I want to get back on the ball with the projects. Well, I’m sitting on the ball, or at least kicking the ball around instead of ignoring it.

Yesterday I received a residual check from a show I did last year. THANK GOD.

My belly is sort of showing now. The fact that a baby is coming in a few months is becoming more of a reality. I read on the internet that it’s a good time to bond with the baby and start talking to it. It’s about 4 inches long and shies away from light if you put a flashlight near it.

April 2, 2008

Today was a restful day and yet there were cool developments:

I got a callback for a job that would be shooting in a few weeks. It shoots for a week so if I booked it, that would be nice.

Hoping to get the commercial I had the callback for yesterday. Crossing fingers.

Just got an email from my modeling agency that I’m hold for a print job next week.

Today I sat on my couch, I did research on one person shows and wrote a few pages.

I had a discussion with SR today about frustrating managers/agents. She ranted about how frustratingly apathetic her agents seemed about her career. It’s understandable but I reminded her that these agents aren’t holding our hands but they were giving us opportunities to build our careers.

Are women innately catty?

I ran into two actresses who were former casts mates of a play I was in. One is pretty confident with herself, is beautiful and feisty and funny. The other one is also very cute and talented, but always acted a bit guarded towards me. While I was in the run of the show she was very friendly towards other people but always cool towards me. Smiling with daggers in her eyes.

I don’t believe that all women are insecure and catty. I believe it’s a myth. I’ve experienced situations where men who are just as catty and insecure. However, I do believe that the majority of women do believe that women are catty and perpetuate the myth. Plus some men like to make it a truth as well.

The shoot would be a few days in LA, I would LOVE for that to happen. I’m so over this cold weather.

March 17, 2008

Lots of drunken people with big goofy grins, ruddy cheeks and green sparkly hats on today.

Listened to Paterson’s speech in my car, it was quite inspiring.

I saw Michael Musto, the gossip columnist, riding his bike on 8th Avenue and 36th Street. I was delighted to see him and wanted to yell out to him: “You’re an A-lister in my book, Mike!”. I was amazed because riding a bike in New York City is so dangerous and he was suddenly even more cool than I already thought him to be. It makes me want to ride my own bike to the train station. I felt it wasn’t really safe for me to do so but I think I may just try it to see how I feel. According to this article it is safe as long as I’m not overheating or getting exhausted.

I went to an audition at a casting director’s office that I’ve been to a few times. I literally had two lines. I did it and then the assistant CD was like: “Yea, that was good…” So we didn’t need to take another take.

I haven’t heard from my manager, she “was out of the office” all day? (Why?) Lord knows. I doubt I booked the Gossip Girl gig because it begins shooting this week. It’s okay. I made appointments with my agent and will give them the heads up on my current baby situation.

My husband and I went to a hospital to check out the labor and delivery area. Checking hospitals out early was the best piece of advice that I have been given. When we shop for clothes or even face creams, we investigate. With where we give birth, not so much. We pretty much go with what what is nearest to us rather than seeing what is the best fit for us. The hospital wasn’t bad, wasn’t great. Dh (dear husband) and I going to check out two more hospitals out. I’m looking for more of a holistic approach and want a place that respects that.

11th Week

It’s been a long time since my last post. Sorry about that. Most of the time I’ve been sitting on my couch watching T.V. trying not to throw up.

As the 12th week approaches, I am slowly feeling better, intermittent with only a few bouts of sickness. My stomach is getting bigger and I can’t wear any of my jeans.

Updates:Two days ago I went to a pregnant modeling agency.

The next day I went to an audition for the CW show, Gossip Girl. I felt so nauseous and the casting office was warm to the point that made me sweat profusely. I’ve noticed that my nerves come on a bit stronger now that I’m pregnant. My heart pounds much faster and my breathing even becomes a bit labored.

I went into the casting room and did my audition. I felt out of sorts and horrible. My words felt rushed, I felt completely uncomfortable and I saw the casting director scribble furiously on my headshot. I imagined it said: “NO NO NO NO!”. As I left the office, I chucked the script into the trash and wondered if this was the beginning of the end of my acting career while I’m pregnant. When I got home, I got the call from the manager that I had a call back! WHAT?

March 14, 2008

10:00 AM

This morning, bright and early I headed to Silvercup Studios in Long Island City. I did my scene. The director, producer and CD giggled a little at one point, which I thought was cool. But again, I have no sense of how I did. I also wonder if people are spotting my growing belly. Either way, I honestly felt I did the best I could and prepped the best I could. So we’ll see.

11:00 AM

Headed into Manhattan where I auditioned for a play. I wasn’t as nearly nervous and hadn’t even had a chance to prep for this. They called me in about 4 or 5 times, partly because they probably were interested in me and partly probably because they needed my character for the other actors. Again, we’ll see. Afterwards I went by one of my managers and dropped of headshots.

1:30

Headed to a go-see for a financial company. Ran into a fellow actor, DS, who I adore. The casting assistant took my picture and headed home. Took a nap.

Today I’m not feeling too great but mentally I feel good about my work today.

Valentine’s Day

Today is the first day in weeks where I haven’t woken up with a sick stomach. It made me a little nervous because I wondered if there was something wrong with the pregnancy. I’ll feel better when I have the ultrasound to see if everything is ok.

I went on an audition for a medical patient audition on Tuesday. The casting director had brought her adorable 2 year old child. She was a very cute kid. The casting director brought three Asian girls, including myself into a room with an older white gentleman. She interviewed us and asked us about ourselves. She also wanted to see if we had taught.

The first girl, in bright pink sweater and who was a very sweet girl talked about how she was a teacher, a nanny and from the same town that the casting director. It was pretty much all over from that point because it was obvious that they were drawn together.

When my turn came up, I fought to keep the bile from rising in my throat. My stomach swam and my face felt really warm. Not one of my finest moments. I also had no teaching experience whatsoever. As I spoke, the casting director sighed a little and her eyes fluttered impatiently as I spoke. She was not feeling me. I was not feeling good. I looked down to see the casting director’s daughter was at my feet with an orange crayon scribbling on my headshot. That pretty much summed up the audition for me.

I thought about my 3 year career (now going into it’s fourth year) and realized that I have worked steadily as an actress. I did not teach because I never had a desire to teach, I have a burning desire to work in show business and earn money there. I feel good about being an actress first, and a writer/film maker second. This wasn’t a job about talent, it was who got along well with the CD. I am not a super articulate sweet kind of actress. I watch people, I listen, I observe and I’m not overly effusive. I’m edgy, emotional, say controversial things. I’m not medical student training material and I’m okay with that.

In other news, I quit my day job at the advertising agency last Friday. I wish I could say that I carefully and strategically planned it and saved $30,000 but nothing could be further from the truth. That morning on the train, I felt myself saying: “I don’t want to work there anymore.” When I walked into the office, I spotted my acquaintance who is also a supervsor of mine wore a funny looking hippie style Chinese collar type of shirt. I said : “Woah, what kind of shirt is that?” He was obviously pissed by the remark and retorted in a trying to be calm but seething underneath kind of way: “Well, what’s up with the Startrek sleeves on YOUR shirt?”. I know my Startrek, and my shirt, while wildly flower patterned was no Startrek shirt. Short story, he decided to give me “work” in the way of research and I just reached my bullshit limit. My body revolted and I just decided enough was enough and put in my 2 weeks notice. I don’t have that much money saved up, I have no job prospects, I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I feel fine about it.

These past few weeks I’ve been dragging myself out of bed to even get to work, feeling miserable all day. Then feeling sick and stressed on the train ride home. To come home to a poor husband who wonders where his wife went. So my plan is that I have no plan. I have an appointment with a modeling agency today… I guess in retrospect it’s probably not super smart because I’ll be a whale soon…but work is work.

I’m wearing my tightest jeans with a really tight shirt. That was a mistake, I’m not really comfortable. Ah well, live and learn.