To Tell Or Not To Tell

February 4, 2008

Sixth Week

Another hot mom gives me hope, Allesondro Ambrosio modeling for Victoria Secret.

Courtesy of TMZ.com, lined with this hilarious quote:

Even PREGNANT Alessandra looks better than all of us. *sigh*

Victoria Secret’s Model

How am I breaking the news of my pregnancy to people?
I guess it would be cool to talk with  “G”, a former model, GORGEOUS and also a terrific actress. I know she also has two little sons. She is just starting in her career and to me, really inspires me. I don’t know very many women who have children, or even think of having children. Being in New York means that people prolong adolescence as long as possible. Women look at adoption or IVF as inevitable solutions. Most of my friends are ambitious artists, singers, writers, actresses etc.

I meet up regularly with a group of actresses and we discuss our careers. When we first began meeting up, we all acknowledged that children freaked us out. Will my girls begin to look at me with kind, sympathetic eyes and slowly pull away from me? Maybe they’ll think: “We’re going to this fashion party on Monday…oh but expectant-Mom-to-be probably wouldn’t want to go…” Maybe I will begin to feel differently about the group and realize there’s more to life than acting? Or perhaps I’ll need to start a Sexy Mom Actress Group?

How will I tell agents and CD’s?  Is there a point in telling them?  I guess it depends on the relationship.  I hope by December I will be in shape to begin going to classes and auditioning again.  So in reality, for the next four months I’ll be in okay shape to act and then

Despite feeling exhausted, emotional and confused about what my name is, I do still feel driven. A few months ago I remember talking to one of my closest friends who is similarly driven with her jewelry design business. We met at design school and became fast friends. I talked about children and how cool it would be to be able to stay home and/or write scripts and screenplays and/or go to auditions. My friend looked at me like I was crazy…but I am really thinking like that, and why not? Does being a mom mean you’re supposed to throw everything away? I don’t think so. If I were a lawyer or a researcher in a biotech lab, no one would question whether or not I’d be going back to work. But as an actress, people WOULD expect that, because, after all, isn’t acting frivolous?

I have to call a modeling agency that just called me from my mass mailing.

UGH, I have put off rehearsing my lines for this feature!!!  I have a rehearsal at 8:00 PM and I’m not psyched about that 😦

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