Eight weeks and still chugging…

February 23, 2008

 It takes ALL of my focus and strength to get out the door these days. Between fatigue and being naseuos I struggle to not throw myself on the bed and take a nap. Last night J was paged and that always wakes me up and screws with my sleep. 

Today I was meeting with a modeling agency and I couldn’t get a read from the agent. She wasn’t friendly or unfriendly, but she sent me out right after our meeting. Since I was in Ktown, I called S or B to see if they wanted to have lunch but one was out on a set and the other was on the way to a go see. I went to the go-see and then decided to head downtown to the casting director for the feature.

It is FREEZING today. The CD is in Chinatown and there are no coffee shops to chill out and relax. I wandered around freezing my ass off before going to the audition. I got there extra early andI rehearsed it over and over by myself before going in. I made sure that I wasn’t going to fumble on lines or do beginning actor audition mistakes. I also wanted to make sure that I was very specific about who I was talking to, who I was and what I wanted. When I got there it turned out I knew an actress who was assisting with the casting. We met years before when we worked on a random job as event keychain assemblers. She is feisty and a really hard worker. I told her I had seen her commercial and her 30 Rock Episode and it was really cool that I was running into her. It was really nice, I felt I was really in the moment, steady and good.I felt I really did the best I could. 

Tomorrow I have another audition for a feature where I would play another sexy kind of character. I find it pretty funny because I don’t think of myself as sexy, mostly funny, bossy, goody and opinionated. I lamented this to my actress friends and she looked at me, nearly rolling her eyes and very calmly said: “I’m only going to say this one time to you…you are sexy. Get over it.” That’s pretty funny. 

I feel pretty wiped out, and always just a little sick to my stomach. However, I feel much better than I did a week ago, thank god. I was really depressed that I would be feeling sick for months and months. It’s abated a bit so I feel so grateful for that. It’s funny because since I “quit” the day job, all of these opportunities started popping up all over the place, it’s pretty cool. I had a fear that I would be sitting at home crying myself asleep at home…but I really believe that more and more interesting projects are coming my way. 

For the first time in my life, I have a little belly. I’m wearing one of my favorite shirts which is form fitting and shows off my figure really well. That includes my new pregnant chest but then also includes the little uncomfortable belly. I don’t mind actually. Just a change I noticed. And how tight everything is feeling. 

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