April 28, 2008

April 29, 2008

I’ve been in a strange transition lately but I’m trying to see the positive:

Physically I’ve been getting bigger and slightly bummed out. Nothing fits and I just FEEL heavy. Walking is a chore.

Upside is that I am starting to buy *new* outfits that are cute but loose around the mid-section.

Mentally, I am also figuring things out. I am trying to find a routine while I’m not working full-time, in between auditions [which I also realize I will have less and less of]. As someone who has focused on their acting career for the past four years, it puts me in a slight funk. I don’t think my issue is unique to working women but I do feel that being an actor one’s physical being is attached to their profession unlike a programmer or a doctor.

Upside is that I’m very excited about being pregnant and I feel wonderful that I have a baby inside of me. I feel very lucky and really excited about it. I’m not the “mommy” type which is someone whose wanted kids since she was a kid. However, I love my husband, we’re super psyched and it feels really good to bring a kid into the world where I know it’ll be loved and cared for.

Other upsides:
I’ve been taking an editing class to edit my short films, it’s awesome. I hadn’t realized how easy Final Cut Pro is. I have a ton of questions but also feel pretty good about my handle on getting my stuff done. To be able to have images of me running around on the big screen (I hope) while I’m out of commission gives me a little bit of comfort.

While taking the editing class, I went to get lunch at a Quiznos nearby. As I was eating my sandwich, the guy who made my sandwhich approached me. He was very skinny, young and wore braces. He said: “Excuse me, are you Korean?” and I said “Yes.” Then he asked “How old are you?”. I was confused. I said: “I’m married.” [Later, as I was relaying the story to my husband, he added gleefully: “AND four months pregnant!”] His eyes got wide and he said: “Woah, you look really young.” This never happens to me and at this particular moment I felt it was Buddha’s/God’s/Mohammed’s way of giving me a gentle, cool breeze on a hot summer day.

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