Archive for July, 2008

Must sleep…

July 14, 2008

I’m in the third trimester and officially 29 weeks.  It’s very exciting and also a bit nervewracking to realize I’m going to be a mom in less than a month in a half.  The baby likes to make her presence known and she is often moving around and wiggling when I’m sleeping making me a zombie in the morning.

Editing session for today may be pushed back 2 hours due to lack of sleep last night…:-p  Must go back to bed and catch some Z’s.

Raging Bull (And no, I’m not talking politicians…)

July 14, 2008

We thought we’d try and watch Hellboy I and headed to our neighborhood Blockbuster.  I decided that our Blockbuster must get ALL of the rejected movies from all of the Blockbusters in the nation.  They had terrible movies and movies I’d never heard or inclined to watch.

Instead we came home and caught Raging Bull on IFC. I had bad memories of this movie because my parents took me to see this as a kid and being a wimp, I thought the boxing scenes were terrifying.  It was a masterpiece.  A timeless movie, well shot, written acted…just  a terrific movie.  The story behind the movie is also rather fascinating.

The screenplay is finished…

July 14, 2008

Above:  My messy process….

Last Thursday I finished the script.  I didn’t plan to and it happened in sort of a strange way.  I had been transposing some things I had written last month into the script and found myself hitting various benchmarks within the script (midpoint, plot points, etc.) and then ultimately writing: THE END.  And that was that.  No confetti fell, no clap of thunder and no birds started singing outside of my window.  

That said, I also know that there will be countless revisions.  There are already things that I know won’t work or that need to be worked on, but I’m cool with that.  

I scheduled a reading of it in August with a few actors, I’m excited to hear it out.  I’ve also FINALLY registered with the screenplay writing class which starts next week.  So I might be able to hear some things before I have the reading which is good.

Had dinner with my family last night and my brother inadvertently gave me a compliment.  He looked at me and stated flatly:  “I thought you were supposed to get fat when you get pregnant.  You look the same except you have a belly”.  Thank you, dear little brother 😀

Third Trimester Reflection

July 2, 2008

As I write this blog, I realize that I do it to ensure that I stay on track with my hopes and dreams.  With insomnia and brain shrinkage my mind races into millions of possibilities and scenarios and thus leaving me in a whirlwind.  This is not how I usually operate.  I’m usually able to clearly define what I want and how to get and then go do it.  Being in this fog-like state is difficult for me.

(Instead of editing 😦  I read an article on Zen Habits which I found helpful.  It talks about Ralph Waldo Emerson and how his mind would constantly wander and how he dealt wth it.

My main objective is come January 2009, that I’m back on track with my acting career.  This means I’m in shape mentally and physically, I’m auditioning, I’m in class and back in the game.  In order to do that, it’s very important for me to have my projects done before (God-willing) my baby arrives. (Potentially difficult?  Yes. But I’ve been meeting more and more actress mothers and see it is possible.)

What seems to skip me up is trying to start money making schemes.  I get paranoid that I’m not making enough money at my drudge day job and I must start a business to supplement my income.  Since I’ve been pregnant I’ve thought of several money making ideas:

selling makeup on ebay
designing greeting cards
starting a graphic design business
scrapping everything and being in Human Resources

The problem is I don’t WANT to do these things.  They are things I think I SHOULD be doing instead of what I really WANT to be doing.  These crazy ideas stem directly from a fear and self doubt which seems to rear it’s annoying, sinewy head quite often.  And it’s completely counterproductive.  Thinking about getting a “real job” simply creates worry, stress and fatigue instead of focusing and keeping my eye on the prize.

So yes, I’m going to face exhaustion today from waking up at 2:30, but I’ve decided to stop whining and get back on the horse.  Instead of wallowing, I’m going to be proactive.

As Mike Meyers would say in Wayne’s World: “Game on!”.