Archive for October, 2008

Pics of Baby M

October 31, 2008

“oooooooh!”

“Where is my cigarette and martini?”

“Why I oughta give you knuckle sandwich!”

Up all night…

October 26, 2008

Baby M didn’t sleep well last night.  Not exactly crying, just fussing the entire night.  She was either hungry or needed a diaper change.

Today I was mostly a zombie, trying to get through the day, taking cat naps here and there.  Baby was bright eyed and and adorable all day.  We watched early videos when we first got her home and laughed at how clueless we were.  In the video when she smacked her lips and cried, we kept saying: “Why are you crying?”  Now we know that smacking her lips = “I’m hungry”.

l also earned is that Baby M also tends to flap her arms around wildly and cry when she’s about to go to sleep.

The weather was gorgeous and we (J, Baby M and myself) were able to take a 30 minute walk in the sunshine.  I’m not overly concerned with the weight.  I’m more interested in taking everyday in stride and not putting pressure on myself.

I feel really lucky to have friends who are parents who I can lament to.  My friends have been so supportive and kind, calling and checking up on me.  I really appreciate it.  My VERY dear friend from Texas said she would come to stay with us for a weekend to help out.  I know I could not do this mom thing without the support of family and friends, that’s for sure.

Checking on baby…

October 25, 2008

All encompassing baby…

October 25, 2008

The month of October is all about baby.  Eat, sleep and poop.   And, oh, you just changed my diaper?  I POOP AGAIN!

Sleep is very important.  I definitely take naps whenever she sleeps.  I also knew early on that I needed help big time.  I did not want to get to the point where I’d be completely sleep deprived and emotionally raw to the point where I couldn’t take it.  I wanted to be able to be able to take care of the baby in a calm and happy manner.  I wanted to be preventative and happily accepted the help of J’s parents (WONDERFUL WONDERFUL) and my mother.

I also made a list of friends to call in case of a meltdown as well as activities to do if I felt bummed out:

Watch 30 Rock episodes
Take a walk
Call a friend, parents
Exercise
Write
Draw

The baby is wonderful wonderful, husband is loving and helpful.  Baby M cries when she is hungry, tired or has a poopy diaper (which are reasonable).  Otherwise she’s adaptable, calm and considerate.

Writing?  Acting?  Film making?  Whatever…October is baby month :-D!  (Though I did apply for a film festival for one of the shorts I made…also had a conference call for my writer’s group…though I was pretty exhausted)

Woah Baby!

October 25, 2008

On October 2nd around 7:30, I was in the bathroom and felt my water break.  I was casually having a conversation wtih my husband and realized what happened.  I didn’t want to panic him so I calmly said: “Oh, huh, I think my water broke.”  We had read and heard from many sources that we’d probably have time to eat dinner, go shopping or go see a movie.  We called our midwife and she in a round about way told us to get our asses to the hospital.

I had packed two big bags and J told me to only pack one because he KNOWS hospitals and they wouldn’t be able to have all that stuff in the room.  I protested that I needed EVERYTHING.  I ended up shoving everything in one bag, stuck a chucks on the car seat and we headed to Manhattan.

I began experiencing contractions, but nothing too crazy.  We listened to this CD of Buddhist chanting.  I bought it earlier when I had we had the ECV done to calm my nerves. It really did help both of us calm down and get perspective.  Blasting Cyprus Hill’s “I Could Just Kill A Man” or Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop” didnt’ seem quite right.

When we got to the hospital, I carried my various pillows and the guard greeted me very kindly and said: “Good luck”.  Things happened very rapidly from that point.  The resident came in and checked on me, the doctor came in to meet me, and then off we went.  By then contractions were very regular, 3 minutes apart and quite painful.  However they made me very happy because the hormones being released were excellent for the baby and it meant her arrival was on her terms.

Like a movie, I was brought to the OR, a freezing room with a team of really good doctors.  I got the epidural (little ouch…) and lay shivering and chattering my teeth.  I used my meditation practice to calm myself and paid attention to my breathing.  I figured that if I remained calm that the procedure would be a lot better for myself and the baby.  When they asked if I wanted to see my husband, I said: “Yes please!” and the room cracked up.  Through chattering teeth I asked what was so funny.  The anesthesiologist said: “Usually at this point people are yelling for their husbands…”

The midwife on call and my husband came into the room and stood behind the curtain on my side.  The last two weeks I was really worried about the baby and if she would be okay.  It was very clear that I had no control over anything and whatever would be would be.

The midwife described what was happening during the procedure and then…when the baby was out, I heard her cry (thank god), they brought her towards me and she was GORGEOUS!  Lots of black hair, adorable little face and body.  They cleaned her, smeared the gunk her eyes, test her, put a hat on etc and then J was allowed to hold her near me.  She had stopped crying, was looking around and smacking her lips.  She looked very mature and aware of what was going on and was very calm.  Her eyes were bright and lucid and both J and I fell in love with her.  She arrived at 12:58 AM, 6 lbs. 13 oz. 19 inches long.

In the recovery room I got to hold her and being the smart baby she is, she began nursing immediately.  I had mentally prepared myself for the sleeplessness, the hard work, the tedium of being a parent.  I thought having a baby would drive a wedge between J and I.  What I hadn’t realized was the immense love you feel for your child when you meet them.  I worried that I might not bond with the baby due to the c-section, but that was not the case.  I can’t really describe in words how much I love her, but it felt immense.  Also, I feel it’s drawn J and I even closer in love…