Archive for November, 2008

Thanksgiving 2008

November 27, 2008

I had an audition on Monday, the first since I’ve had the baby.  I was really on the fence about going because I was exhausted and Baby M had a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon and I didn’t think I’d have time to prep.  My friend encouraged me to go.

The verdict was that I didn’t suck, but I was definitely not prepared.  I was not in the right state of mind mentally and physically.  However, I do not regret going on the audition.  It gave me a barometer of where I was and what I need to do to get back into my audition mode.  I’m looking to take an audition technique class next month.

In writing news, the screenplay group is on hold this week and meeting up first week in December.  I’m still writing though.  How the hell did Sylvestor Stallone write Rocky in a week?  Or was it 3 days?

I’m also taking the solo show class which has been quite challenging.  I’ve wanted to write a solo show for some time and is precisely what I’ve been looking for.  The people are extremely talented, the teacher is experienced and has an excellent track record of getting shows off the ground.  Facing myself and my life has been interestingly tough.  I knew one really respected actress who took this class and she said: “After a while I realized I just need therapy!”  and I laughed because I knew what she meant.

Why am I doing this with a newborn infant?  Am I insane?  Actually, if I didn’t have a creative outlet with other creative people I believe I would be really insane.  Keeping myself tapped in and creating help me be a better person and therefore a better mother.  I never want to feel resentful towards my daughter because she is one of the greatest gifts ever bestowed upon me.   I want her to see her mother happy and fulfilled while hopefully being a caring and loving mom.

November 19, 2008

November 18, 2008

Today I have the 6 week check up with the midwife in Manhattan.  I’m taking Baby M to my in-laws house where we’ll have lunch YUM!  My Mom-in-law is the BEST cook so this is a treat.  I was supposed to meet up with a friend for lunch but she canceled so now I have a bit more time to mosey in the city.

I read the intro to Ma-Yi’s (Asian American Theatre Company in NYC) book of plays. Terrific!  I POLISHED MY NAILS.  AMAZING.

My wrists are feeling a bit better.  I found a way to hold the baby that doesn’t hurt.  I definitely wish someone had told me about this so could have prevented it.

November 18, 2008

November 18, 2008

Today Baby M and I went to the hemotologist.  I did not realize that the jaundice issue was really a non issue and the reason we had to see a doctor was because one of her blood tests came back slightly abnormal.  The doctors wanted to see her for further testing.  She is absolutely fine and healthy but has a slightly lower blood cell level.  Her jaundice did go down (7.5, yay!) and the doctor said she looked super healthy so he would not test her but did want to see her in a week.

While I grumbled about going to the hospital, once I got there I felt differently.  I was struck by the very sick children there.  Ones that were going through chemo and lost their hair, tiny ones wearing masks or getting blood drawn for more serious issues.  It made me grateful for health, it really is a gift.

After, I prepped everything at home (dinner, cleaned up, baby bottles etc.) so I could go to the one person show class.

Class was quite amazing.  There are only 3 other people in the class and …it is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.  I’ve been a bit out of the loop and felt a bit shy when I presented my material.  I also felt that the other writers were VERY good (which is a good thing) and it made me nervous to present my own stuff.  I still don’t know what it’s about though I did learn a few elements that separate a good solo show from a bad one.  One element is having the 3 act structure:  beginning middle and end.  The second element (and the one I find fascinating) is making sure that your character is ACTIVE in your story instead of simply reacting to events.  Subtle, but very powerful.  There are more, but these two were most interesting to me.

Came home, fed baby, passed out.

November 16, 2008

November 18, 2008

Today was uneventful.  Hung out with the baby.  In laws came by and watched TV.  Btw, did I tell you I love my mother in law?  For a whole month she cooked, cleaned and helped care for the baby 3 times a week.  That help allowed me to heal and to have a nice start at being a mother.  Yay Mom C!!

November 15, 2008

November 16, 2008

We had friends come in from the city, it was so much fun.  We sat and chat, listened to Brazilian music and ate macaroons.  This was the first time I’ve had them and they are delish!

J and I went to BuyBuy Baby to buy some much needed baby gear.

We came home, ate dinner and watched Sex and The City (the movie).  Baby M actually went to sleep tonight.

Woke up at 12:00 a.m., fed the baby, read an article on the most FANTASTIC artist, Taylor Mac.  Then I wrote a few more lines on the screenplay.  I also wrote my homework assignment for my solo show class on Monday.  I’m very excited for that.

Mom In The Arts Interview #1

November 14, 2008

My first interview is from my dear friend, Momma M who is a professional opera singer.  (I am very impressed by how she kept gigging up to her seventh month of pregnancy!!)

Q:  What is one of your favorite moments of your career?  Any other highlights?
A:  One of my favorite moments was during a performance of Rossini’s “Otello”.  I was singing Desdemona, and she has a Willow Song in the opera.  It was probably the most “in the groove” I’ve ever been, and I knew I was connecting to the music, the text and the audience.  There have been other times like that, and those are all real highlights, to be sure, but I think that one was possibly the most pronounced and memorable.

Q:  Did you always know you wanted to be a mom?
A:  Yes, I believe I did.  I’ve thought about it for about as long as I can remember.

Q:  Were you nervous about how becoming a mom would affect your career?
A:  Definitely.  Mostly, for me, I was concerned about how the hormones would change my voice.  Many singers have said that it changed their voice for the better, making it richer and fuller, so I’m hoping for that!!  Also, my career involves a lot of travel, so I’m concerned about how I will balance that with giving the little one stability.

Q:  How did you occupy your time during your pregnancy?
A:  I continued to work during my pregnancy, up until about the seventh month.  I had gigs up until that time, so that was helpful.  After that, my husband and I did a lot of traveling to visit relatives and friends and have some “together” time because we knew that would all be curtailed for a while after the baby was born.

Q:   Is becoming a mom been what you thought it would be?

A:  Yes and no.  I knew I would fall in love with my baby, and that has definitely happened.  I think I didn’t know the extent to which I would become super-protective and second guess myself in trying to give him the very best care!!  I would look at other mothers being obsessive and think “oh, I won’t be like that” and I TOTALLY am!!

Q:  Any role models or mentors you look up to?
A:  My husband’s siblings are really wonderful parents, and I’ve been so impressed with them and how they’ve managed to balance work and taking care of their children and splitting parenting duties.  And there are other singers who have managed to balance their careers and be devoted parents at the same time – now that I’ve just begun trying that, they have become superheros in my estimation!

Q:  How do you inspire yourself?
A:  Living in New York City is a big inspiration in itself – there is so much going on.  Live performances really inspire me, and there is so much to choose from here.  Even now, with an infant, there are live performances in churches and other settings where I feel like I can take my baby, and hop out if I need to if he starts fussing.  It’s great!

Q:  Any advice for other moms or parents in the arts?
A:  Get help if you are feeling overwhelmed.  I had no problem before giving birth feeling like it would be okay to have help from time to time if I needed some extra time to myself to practice or study my art.  Now that I have the child, I admit, I’m feeling guilty for wanting/needing that.  My husband has been amazing at convincing me that not only is that okay, but it will ultimately help our baby too, because I will be in a better place emotionally.

Baby Drama

November 14, 2008

After the six week check up Baby M is slightly jaundiced.  The bilirubin levels are very low so she’s okay for now.  I took her to the hospital to get blood drawn and she was a real trooper only crying once when they put the needle in and once when they took it out.  Watching that was a bit difficult for sure.

In other weird health news, I have major tendonitis from carrying the baby around.  This is funny because I’ve used the computer for years and NEVER had an issue.  Two months of baby and my wrists are all jacked up.  I have a carrier which I put Baby M in but she doesn’t like it.  I need to try and get a new carrier.  Yes, I’m spoiling the baby until she’s three months.  I like carrying her.  But my body is telling me I need to do otherwise.

In other news, I met with my screenwriting group yesterday and that was pretty fantastic.  I hope to have a draft done by the end of this month.

Baby Talk

November 10, 2008

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Wonky Monday

November 6, 2008

I noticed that due to lack of sleep I feel a bit wonky.  When Baby M takes naps it’s easier to just hold her.  When she’s up ALL DAY it requires a whole heck of a lot of effort.  Today I felt worn down, sleep deprived and a little bit weepy.

Last week a friend had asked to do a reading tonight and I jumped at the opportunuity.  I’ll admit I REALLY questioned myself as I was running out the door while the baby was fussing to be fed.  On the train there I kept looking at pictures of my daughter thinking I was a big jerk for leaving her at home with my husband.

However, the reading was really what the doctor ordered.  People were very funny and drinking a lot of wine.  (Oh my god I can drink wine!!)  It felt really great to read and laugh hysterically at all the silliness.  I loved reading and realized it was totally worth it.  I realize there will be plenty more times like this and it will be really challenging for sure…

On the  cab ride to Penn Station and SUV driver dangerously began playing chicken with my driver. The old me would have definitely either flicked the driver off or rolled the window down and hurl a few choiced words.   I felt like pleading:  “I have a kid, dude!!  Chill out!!”  Instead I double checked my seatbelt, sighed and prayed I’d make it home.