How to disagree…nicely

March 30, 2009

Many things have been pressing on the family lately:  Trying to care for an infant, trying to care for a house when I’ve never been Betty Homemaker, trying to cook when I’m not Betty Crocker, dealing with a sudden departure of our part-time babysitter.  We’re also considering moving and buying a home.  Once in a while there may be * SHOCK * disagreements.
We thought of ways that may help us improve our disagreements:

Try to cool down before talking.

Try to refrain from saying hurtful things that you may regret later.
It’s important to realize that words are extremely powerful.  Why say damaging things in the heat of the moment?

If you’re really mad, take a walk.  (BUT TELL THE OTHER PERSON WHERE YOU ARE GOING)

After you’ve cooled down, try this exercise:
One person “gets the floor”.  That means, for three minutes, they are sharing what is on their mind.  The other person completely listens WITHOUT forming opinions, arguments, tangents, evidence or conjectures to force their own opinion (this is what lawyers do but for matters of the heart, this does NOT work.).  The key here is listening completely with body and mind.  When the three minutes are up, the other person gets to have their say.

Other solutions include: hiring a maid, getting a personal organizer, getting another babysitter.  Cheaper solutions may include checking out Flylady.net.  Also trying to laugh at the situation and realizing how things are temporary (the baby won’t be a baby forever).

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