July 26, 2010

Long time no speak.  I’ve had three successful solo shows here in New York City.

I’m headed to Scotland Aug. 3 for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and will be away from my daughter and husband for 10 days.  I feel terrible about it and regret entering into this festival.  That said, I feel more aware of my love and moments that we, as a family, are sharing together.

Sometimes I wake up with a dread and wonder, why am I doing this?  I don’t want to go to Scotland!  I don’t want to direct these people to film my trailer or get a marketing plan together.  All’s I want to do is relax!  But I force myself to switch my mind and focus on the moment.  Not on the future or the past.  When I refocus, I realize it’s the fear that has been beating in the background that is the source of my dread.  The fear of leaving the most precious thing to me in the world:  my family.

The way I’m dealing with this is meditating, taking care of myself and breathing.  If my mind wanders, I take a breath and focus on exactly what I’m doing at that moment.

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