Update and Gloominess

February 10, 2011

For some reason I’ve been tired.  Maybe it’s due to the drama with my mother and brother.  (I don’t feel like getting into it).  Maybe it’s due to the weather.  All’s I know is that I want to go to sleep for at least a week.

A few weeks ago we went to Florida to visit  my mom.  You think:  “Oh, Florida!  Awesome!  The beach!”  RIGHT.  Well, vacation with a child is NOT a vacation.  It’s work compounded.  It’s stress times two:  screwed sleep schedule  The last time we went to Florida I came back very sick.  This time I didn’t get sick but I definitely feel lousy.

Parents understand it.  They know that while one is cleaning the damn kitchen and the other is given a bath, asking for a diaper, a tissue, a towel, a new outfit makes you want to go insane.  You feel rubbed raw to the point that putting water in the Brita feels like it’s going to kill you.

Sometimes it’s easy and then it’s an anti-joy.

I had lunch with a buddy of mine who I really respect and think is a terrific person.  He told me that his parents were very successful professionally and not really present in his life as parents.  He said this affected him a lot of ways including going a little wild.  This he told me as my little Baby M is in daycare.

Then there the other extreme: my mother in law, God love her.  She devoted herself 100% to my husband.  She worked at home to care for him and passed professional opportunities to be a mother to him.  To this day she dotes on us and to a degree, is very unhappy because she has nothing to show…except a very together, terrific son.

It hit me.  The balance that we try to strike.  To do our own thing but maintaining a good relationship with our family.  Sometimes it feels a little overwhelming.

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