Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Kick Ass Mom Website

May 30, 2009

I was researching places to live and came across this blog.  She is a mom who is a writer and it is kick ass.  She says it like it is, is hilarious yet humble.  She also gives me something to aspire to in terms of keeping quality control.



Status of Baby M

May 28, 2009

Over the past few days, the blood clot in Baby M’s eye grew from the left corner of her eye to almost touching her pupil.  I decided to get it checked out without panicking.

Luckily our pediatrician was able to get us an appointment with a pediatric opthamologist.  I thought the appointment would entail Baby M screaming her head off, instead she was quiet and inquisitive.  The doctor had excellent bedside manner and was very gentle .  When the doctor squirted solution into Baby’s eye to dialate her pupils,  Baby M was fine.

After 30 minutes the doctor checked Baby M’s eyes and said the eye is fine and she doesn’t currently have vision problems.

We’re in highschool again, folks!

May 15, 2009

I’ve been meeting other mothers at these mom things.  I’m doing this so Maddie can meet other kids and I can meet other mothers.

I went to one group and I couldn’t find any pants so I wore my post pregnancy pants.  I held Baby M in the Ergo Baby (baby carrier) and my pants slid way down my butt because  I’m back to my normal weight.

I felt embarressed and mumbled to a nearby duo of mothers:  “Sorry, these are my fat jeans.”

I didn’t realize they might have been a little overweight and one was highly offended and huffed and walked away.

The old me, (the one with energy and snappy comebacks) would have said something funny.  But I’m in a funk.  So I just sort of stood there silently thus allowing the woman to jump to major conclusions.

I’m usually good at getting myself out of funks, but lately I’ve been a bit bluer than usual.  I’m going to change things up and try a different strategy because currently it’s not really working…Sorry for the wonkiness…

UPDATE:  June 1, 2009 – I forgot to mention that where we live, the community is inundated with Asians (Korean and Chinese) because the school districts are very good.  The “original” citizens are mostly  Caucasian and there is a slight funny feeling between the groups.  I see it from both sides.  Koreans and Chinese can tend to be insular (I am Korean-American and have witnessed it) and stick to themselves.  From the non-Asian side there is a subtle but definite present anti-immigrant resentment.

I see it from both sides and sympathize with them both.  One side happily comes in and the other side feels invaded.  That said, I’m Asian but I don’t fit in with the mothers who are from Asian countries and are grooming their kids in utero to go to Harvard.  And because I’m not white, I’m definitely viewed with a cast of suspicion or wariness from the Caucasians.

Power of Decision Making…

May 1, 2009

I decided this week that I’m not going to find outside work for the next 5 months.  Ever since Baby M was born, I’ve felt obsessed with finding a job and earning my “own” money.  I decided that I need to chill the heck out. We are lucky that my husband can support us for now.   And since I did my show three times, we actually made  a PROFIT.  So I AM working part time!  Actually FULL time PLUS OVERTIME because right now I’m with Baby M ALL OF THE TIME. Why all caps?  Because it just hit me today that I’m working my tail off!

After making the decison of staying home for the next 5 months (except for really good acting gigs), I felt a relief.  And that’s why making decisions is important.  Instead of being wishy washy, you have clearly defined what you want and then the rest of the universe responds.  The reality is that the universe is totally aligned to make it all happen for you, you just have to LET it happen.  When you’re muddled and undecisive, then the universe is confused right there beside you.

Here are reminders for decision making:

-Make your decisions and make them fast.  Don’t hold back and don’t be afraid.  If you make a mistake, so what?  You can change your mind.  Decision making is a very important skill to have.

-Make a decision and stand by it and back it up.  – Sometimes when ideas are presented they are met with resistance.  This is normal, this doesn’t mean your decision is wrong.  Believe in your decision and stand by it.  Then others begin to take your decision as normal.

Then also have the flexibility to see where change is needed. – If something isn’t working, then fix it.  Don’t be stubborn or too proud to change something that can be improved upon.

After the show: Take It Easy…

April 28, 2009

So far I’ve had three successful performances for my solo show.  I’ve partnered up with a wonderful actress and director and somehow we’ve managed to do it.  However, afterward, I was completely wiped out.  Mentally and physically.  Normally after a show there is post show blues which I am familiar with.  However, this time around, post show blues were really bad.

I realized that I have to take it easy. I’m not the same person that I was before.  I average 3-4 hours of sleep per night.  I am BREASTFEEDING for god’s sake (constantly hungry and thirsty).  My baby sitter had major family drama and had to quit so I’m with baby 24 hours.  Ten minutes before going on stage, I was holding Baby M in my arms and wondered what the heck I was going to do.


NO MORE NON PAYING WORK…(Reasons you shouldn’t work for free)

April 3, 2009

…Unless it’s working with people who I know are kick ass.

I made this vow earlier in the year but I FORGOT it because I thought JUST THIS TIME I will work with a student film director.  I’ve been given a lot so I feel like sometimes it’s good to give back.  However, this director was a poor writer, a bad director and had a bad attitude.  It was an unpleasant experience.  She questioned my acting skills, she got frustrated with me and we just didn’t jive.  But I thank this director because she REMINDED me of my vow I made earlier in the year and to stick with it.  So thank you, Rigid Not So Great Director for that reminder.

It depletes your energy.
When I first started in acting, I did tons of student films.  I did it for the experience, I did it to cut my teeth and have stuff for my reel.  Now that I’m a little more established and with child, I’ve decided that I can only work for pay.  And I mean it this time.  It takes time and energy that could be devoted to my daughter, to my husband, to myself…and my career.

You deserve to be paid.
Artists deserve to make a living and flourish!  We deserve to work with the best in the industry.  We deserve nice treatment.  Period.  The idea that artists should be starving is a bunch of hooey.  Selling out is a myth that unsuccessful people like to complain about when someone else makes it.

You need to get out of your comfort zone.
My coach always asks me, what does giving 100% mean to you?  It means focusing on the goals you want and not accepting everything that comes your way.  Doing amateur work is easy, you work with amateurs.  It’s harder to get to the work you really want…sometimes so hard you might take amateur work to fill the dead time.  But does it add value to you?

If you want something done…ask a busy person…

February 17, 2009

Things have been VERY busy.  So far I’ve been on two pilot auditions and a smattering of commercial and commercial print auditions.  I’m also doing my solo show in the next week or so.  

I have not had time to post…and I apologize.  Between being a mom and auditioning, I’m pretty busy.  More to come…

Audition Technique

January 23, 2009

Met up with the actors from the audition class.  They are such a talented group of people and so nice.  I look at all of them and feel like they are all big time “bookable”.

At our level, it’s not whether we are competent, it’s more of how do we relax enough to show our true essence.  Thus making an audition more natural and organic.

Unfortunately due to my schedule I won’t be able to meet up with them.

While I was out, Baby M didn’t eat for SIX HOURS.  When I returned home my babysitter/friend told me Baby M wouldn’t take the bottle.  It’s a little upsetting but as long as it doesn’t happen all of the time we should be ok.

I just realized I have a show the end of February and I have to be OFF BOOK?!!  AUGH…

The gaps between the brilliance…

January 19, 2009

Wednesday I was in the halls of NBC where I auditioned for a consistently paying work.  On Thursday I was wiping off drool on my baby’s mouth, had no sleep and felt utterly depressed.

I came across a qoute from Milton Resnick, a major abstract expressionist painter:

Artists, he said, “….have their ups and downs….for a while everything you do is wonderful or you think it is then you slide down….pulling yourself up again is the most important part of your life.”

It’s very difficult to face the downtime of being an actor.  Often times I feel like running back to a day job and having some regularity in my life.

The thing is, I realize I’m very lucky.  I have a chance to make it, I have a wonderful family and focus solely on being a mom and an actress.  I’m feeling blue right now and remember this quote on these occasions.

I want a collaborative partner!

January 18, 2009

I’m putting it out there in the universe!!  (he he, saying things like “putting it out in the universe” is so funny.  It’s so “Secret“.)

Will Ferrell will be performing on Broadway as George Bush.  In the article he talks about his long time collaborative partner and I yelled out:  “I WANT A COLLABORATIVE PARTNER!!”

When I was reading John Leguizamo’s book “The Works Of John Leguizamo” he too had a collaborative partner to write with and discuss his show with.

I’m currently taking a class with the best teacher/director on the earth.  However, I want to have a collaborative partner that I don’t pay.

Here is what I’m looking for:

-Sees things to fruition (my weak point)
-Loves my work (and I love their work)
-We jive, we’re friends
-They are detailed, methodical (my other week point)’

Alright UNIVERSE!  Do your stuff!